Love dare day 34

Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.

Questions: What example did you choose to recongize? How many other ways could you celebrate their growth in godliness? How could you encourage them to persevere in it?

Well, God has his way to connect things and has an amazingly timing factor. My father in law had a negative perception towards one of our neighbors down the street because their dog was out of control and would whined up on our yard. Funny thing about perceptions is that with out really knowing them, we kind of step further away from them rather then trying to get to know them better. So out of know where, Josianne was walking our baby and their dog came running straight towards her and Noah. However, instead of flipping out and getting really upset and letting the neighbors have it, she kept her calm and took the time to talk with the out of breath neighbor who had just rushed out the front door to get a hold of their dog. Now, we have 2 new friends in the area and get a good laugh about how they are having trouble training their dog. Now that took courage and I commended her on it. WOW Iwhat a way to change a perception in a heart beat. Good for you Jos.

THanks

Love dare day 33

Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in you upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.

Questions: What are some upcoming decisions you can make together? What did you learn today about the role of your mate?

Funny how since the begginning of the year I have learned to intergrate my wife' opinion more and more in my decision making. I am launching my coaching business and every step is a crutial one and not just client based but also indentifying spouse's needs in order to keep balance in the whole process.

So what upcoming decisions am I making and including my wife's input in... well all of them for I have realised just what a difference in our relationship this process can be. Hahahah doesn't mean I HAVE to follow everything she says, but a could negotiation once in a while is also healthy for us.

Thanks.

Love dare day 32

If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.

Questions: Was this a satisfying experience for you? If it didn't turn out the way you'd hoped, what do you think is complicating matters? Have you committed this to prayer? If it was a true blessing for both of you, what can you learn from this for the future?

Hum... right now having the fact that she is still in remission from having the baby, I don't believe is a question of sexual urge, but more a physicaly pain situation. It's funny that you mention prayer, for this had never crossed my mind to pray for intimacy that way? I have prayed for me and my urges and my thoughts to be centered around my wife and not the internet and since I have launched theses prayers, I have felt a shift and it has dramatically changed our intimacy level. However, physically, it's a challenge right now and I pray for patience and compassion. Now I get to pray for a greater sexual relationship with my wife. Wow what a concept. Funny how it slipped my mind and that it was always right there in my face.

Thank you Lord.

Robert

Love dare day 31

Is there a "leaving" issue you haven't been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every human relationship.

Questions: Has this been a hard thing for you to deal with? How has it affected your relationship? If the worse offender in theis area is your spouse (with your in-laws), how can you lovingly move this toward a better situation?

I don't believe I have a leaving issue, I rather have a being left issue ha! My father has passed away and my mother has moved to another continent. My wife knows about this and is very supportive about the whole thing. I have make a lot of progress in the area of healing and forgiveness.

I think, that I still choose to work on this issue, however, I don't believe this is a problem in my relationship.

Thanks.

Robert

The love dare day 30

Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.

Questions: Did the Lord open your eyes to anything new that might be giving fuel to this point of disagreement? How do you intend to respond? What do you hope to see God do in your spouse as well?

I don,t believe at this point in time that the Lord has opened my eye on anything new. However, it is and has been a continuing and progressing progress of awarness and introspection.

It's funny how coming close down to the wire I seem to be running out of gas. I seem to be slipping and not being as involved directly as I was. I'm still in the mood and in the mindset, however, I had lost the discipline of the everyday reading and stuff.

I choose to recommit and finish as strong as I can.

Thanks

Love dare day 29

Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say "I love you", then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for Giving you the privilege of loving this one special person - unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.

Questions: How will this change of motivation affect your relationship and reactions? What does this inspire you to do? What does it inspire you to stop doing?

This inspire me to stop looking for the speck in my wifes eye and take the post out of mine. It has waken me to the fact that I have been nagging her on many different subjects when the anger and frustration should of been deflected towards me and my actions. This is a huge eye opener for me and I have been praying for many people, but never have I really thought to pray for someone so close to my heart.

This has changed my thoughts and inspires me to use God as the best "go to guy" their is.

Thanks

love dare day 28

What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse's life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.

Questions: How much of your mate's stress is caused by your lack of concern or initiative? When you expressed a desire to help, how did they receive it? Are there other needs you could meet?

Right now the biggest need I choose to take care of is to let my spouse the freedom of choice by being able to efficiently provide for the family. Since I've launched my business's 3 years ago, she has not let herself dream or think of what she would like to do feeling trapped and unable to do such a thing AND be the soul provider.

THis is huge for me and I have been working on liberating her from this burden for some time and choose to continue to do so for as long as it takes for Jos to not feel the need to sacrifice her needs and wants because of a financial situation.

Are there other needs to be taken care of, I'm pretty sure there are and to be quite honest, since our communication level is rising, I get to find out just how and in what way I can better help my wife. So yes, other areas of need are open and I am stepping into fulfilling those needs as well while still keeping on eye on the big picture.

Thanks.

Love dare day 27

Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you'll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.

Questions: When you place high expectations on your spouse that they don,t feel internally motivated to attain, what does that tell you about yourself? What are some better ways do deal with these disconnects?

This was a great continuous dare. I believe for the last couple of days, the dare has not been separeted but a series of continous thoughts on pretty much the same subject. Well, for me I guess because everything that I needed forgiveness around and now the unrealistic expectations is based pretty much on the same subject. So what does that tell me? Well it tells me that I'm going at it the wrong way and that putting presure in a nagging form doesn't help create the relationship that I want. Worse, the fact that they don't even want to do the effort because of the expectations of it all could lead to things a lot worse.

Again, communication for me is key and also thinking outside the box. I believe for I have seen it grow over the last 27 days, that being more intuitive with my spouse, making sure her needs are filled creates a space for her to WANT to do the same with me. It's just amazing. So whenever I feel that way again.. that she isn't pulling her weight in turns of MY needs, I can remember this reflexion and ask myself, what have I done for HER lately.

Thanks

Love dare day 26

Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God's forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.

Questions: What does your mate need to see in order to believe that your confession was more than just words?

Great question and great task. And the answer is action. I have long neglected my wife in the area of touch. Hugs, little kisses, massages, all the little non sexual things that take a couple of seconds to do and that create a warm and loving environnement. So what am I commiting to do, one step at a time, is to integrate special welcomes when she or I come home, to make sur I take the time for hugs and kisses and I love you's every day and last but not least give her as many massages as she wants.

Thansk

Love dare day 25

Whatever you haven't forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to "forgive us our debts" each day, we must ask him to help us "forgive our debtors" each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart "I choose to forgive".

Questions: what did you forgive your spouse for today? How long have you been carrying the weight of it? what are the possibilities now that you've released this matter to God?

To be honest, I haven't been holding much towards my wife. Although, there is A matter I chose to let go and forgive my spouse for I truly believe it's not her fault. I have been carrying around this weight for quite some time and have used my released addiction to cope with the situation. Now I'm anticipating my reaction now that I don,t have that evacutation valve. I put all my trust in God to keep me patient, loving, compassionate and not moody. I'm already feeling a shift in my irritability and I choose to pray more and give more of my thoughts and my challenges to God.

Thanks

Love dare day 24

End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you've swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed - today - and replaced with the sure promises of God and a Heart filled with HIS perfect love.

Questions: What did you identify as an area of lust? What has this pursuit cost you over time? How has it led you away from the person you want to be? Write about your new commitment to seek HIM - and to seek your spouse - rather than seeking after foolish desires.

This is huge for me. Not that I'm always looking out for other woman but have always like to get an eye full. The only way out for me is to ask for help from GOD. I choose this because I know that what's out there to be seen has sometimes diminished my sex drive. This is a start of a whole new way to live with God and I'm looking forward to harvesting it's fruit.

THank you for this book.
Robert

Love dare day 23

Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that's stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.

Questions: What did you throuw out first? Are there others that need to go as well? What do you hope the removal of these things will do for you, your marriage, and your relationship with God?

2 things I have removed and that I also choose to keep silent for the sake of the www. However, I believe that removing these addictions will do great wonders for myself, my self esteem with in turn will allow me to be in a better position to create the environment I am seeking in my relationship.

I think I will become even closer to God, because the only way I can get free from these addictions is through God's grace.

tks

Love dare day 22

Love is a choice, not a feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, " I love you. Period. I choose to love you even if you don't love me in return."

Questions: Why is this kind of love impossible without the love of Christ beating in your heart? How des His presence within you enable you to love, even when it's primarily one-sided?

Things have been more challenging for me during the last couple of days. The dares or less on my mind and a feeling of frustration towards my wife has slowly sneeked in. Yes, I have the feeling of being the only working on creating a better space and realised that yes, my love was linked to coincidences. If she's likable, I will like her.. something like that.

So today I took the liberty to have a heart to heart with my wife and at first it was almost a "bitching" fest on my part. You don't do this, you should do that... and realised that what I was asking of her, I wasn't ready to do it myself or not on a regular basis at least. So I recommitted to create the space for her to willingly express her love.

To do so by myself is impossible. To allow myself to love regardless of if my spouse is receptive or not is a feat only Christ our savior can master with me. I don't believe that it's humanly possible to love at such a deep and powerful level with only our human intentions. No matter how true the intentions may be.

WOW, so half way through the challenge and I am realising that this book brings you toward a much deeper path than I had expected. Humm... the tide is changing and I'm slowly realising just how much more love I can bring to the game if only I choose to let Christ in and help me.

Thanks

Love dare day 21

Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading a chapter out of proverbs each day (there are 31 - a full month's supply), or reading a chapter in the Gospels (mathieu, mark, luke and john). As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with him.

Questions: How do you think spending time daily with God will change your situation and perspective? How can you make HIM a bigger part of your day?

Wow, you see this has been the biggest challenge I have been facing for a very long time. It's so simple and yet, I choose not to set aside the proper time to read a couple of lines in God's holy speach. I'm a little frustrated with myself and choose now to stop that. It is what it is and everything I have done has brought me to this point in my life. I can now choose to change or stay the same and I choose to start reading a proverb everyday for the nurturing of my soul.

I work so hard on increasing all aspects of my life and have lost focus on what's more important. Although I talk to God through Jesus with help from the Holy spirit everyday, it's more of a monologue than a dialogue if I don't take the time to listen to what he has to say.

So you see, I didn't even complete this dare yesterday. HUGE A HA!

Thanks for the dare.

RObert

Love dare day 20

Dare to take God at this Word. Dare to Trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to pray " Lord Jesus", I'm a sinner. But you have shown your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and you have proven your power to save me from death by your ressurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by your grace.

Questions: write about what this experience has been like for you. Even if you are only renewing your commitment to receive and express His love, what has He shown you today?

Well what I am discovering is that it is true, I can't do this only by my own will. I have been trying to do so for the last 20 days and so for so good. However, I can feel myself wearing out. Thinking to myself, ok well how can I keep this "effort" up for the next 20 or moreso the next 20 days? Even though my wife and I are on good terms, the new baby has completely shattered our intimicy and together time. So it has been a challenge not to let my frustration take over when you feel like you're alone in this and that you're the only one making the efforts.

That,s exactly what dare 19 and 20 have been teaching is that it has nothing to do with the other person. It's all about commitment and a TRUE desire to love regardless of the conditions or situations and to do so, there's only one true way and that is to ask Jesus for help and that he may OPEN my heart to a whole other level so that I may experience love in a more profond way.

God bless this book.

Robert